Lately, Mikaela has been throwing tantrums and yelling/shouting/screaming when we don't give her something she wants or just in general misbehaving by doing something we're telling her not to do. I don't know if it's because she's had two colds (one after the other) recently and she's been grumpy, or it's just part of the 'Terrible Twos'.
For most things, I've been counting out loud to 5 and if I get to 5 and she hasn't stopped, I give her a time-out. There are times that I haven't reacted well at all, especially if it involves a big mess (like a large pee on our couch or fabric chairs, which have both happened, even though she's already potty-trained during the day and we've tried to get her to go to the potty a short time before). I don't scream at her but I think I come pretty close and I feel so guilty about it - she is only 2 and a half. I definitely show her I'm pissed at what she has done. I haven't hit her because I don't believe in it (during my saner moments) and I wouldn't subject her to what I've been through.
I don't want to teach her that yelling at someone is an acceptable response for anger and frustration, or any other negative emotions, but I'm afraid I'm already doing that. It's tough to keep calm when I'm on my own with both kids, especially when I'm already frazzled trying to deal with a fussy baby before Mikaela even makes a mess (or whatever).
I've recently started trying to work on talking in a calmer tone of voice whenever I'm mad. I may have inherited my dad's short temper, but I'll try not to give in to it. Hopefully the 'Proactive Approaches to Challenging Behaviour' workshop we've signed up to take will give me ideas on how to deal with her behaviour and we'll both be better for it. I really really want to learn to diffuse the situation without resorting to raised voices...
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