B is for Babies

Erica recently learned to roll over from back to front (towards her left, same side as Mikaela did), at about 5 months of age. I wonder if the fact she was born at 36 weeks, 6 days (approximately 3 weeks before my EDD) will mean that she'll be 3 weeks behind on hitting these early milestones. I've heard that the development of premature babies can be affected by how premature they are, but if it's only a few weeks, does it make a difference? Or does it have to be at least a month? Not that I'm concerned with how late she may get there, I'm just curious if it would affect it.

She learned to smile and laugh at about the same age as Mikaela did, she was a bit more wobbly-headed for longer but doing fine now. We're working on her sitting muscles and she's learned to stay upright by supporting herself with her hands, but falls over frequently. I look forward to when she can sit, maybe she'll be able to entertain herself more. Mikaela helps out a bit, but it's mostly me trying to keep Erica occupied and not bored and therefore upset.

Erica has been sleeping through the night (average of 9+ hours) for a while but recently took to waking after a couple hours for a feed. Since she's been feeding more frequently throughout the day, I wonder if that's a sign of a growth spurt. Or maybe teething? Hard to say, but she's been grabbing at things to stick in her mouth more, too, though that could be just improved co-ordination. She's also been more grumpy during the afternoon and night but in general clingy during the day, so it sucks to be the only adult around all day. But she's healthy and happy, so who am I to complain? Oh yeah, just a tired mother.

I seem to know lots of people who are pregnant recently (7 at last count). So excited for them but I don't envy the ones who already have one young child - lots of sleepless nights on the horizon! Not that they won't have them anyway if it's their first child. =) Sometimes I think about what it would be like to be expecting a 3rd baby - I think I would go crazy at this point in time. We'd need to have a few things happen beforehand, like buying a bigger house and a bigger car. Not going to happen in the near future unless we win the lottery. =Þ But maybe two kids are enough, even if I didn't have one of each. Not sure I could handle 3 on my own! I do kinda want a boy, though... But not anytime soon! =Þ

A is for Anger (and Arguments)

Lately, Mikaela has been throwing tantrums and yelling/shouting/screaming when we don't give her something she wants or just in general misbehaving by doing something we're telling her not to do. I don't know if it's because she's had two colds (one after the other) recently and she's been grumpy, or it's just part of the 'Terrible Twos'.

For most things, I've been counting out loud to 5 and if I get to 5 and she hasn't stopped, I give her a time-out. There are times that I haven't reacted well at all, especially if it involves a big mess (like a large pee on our couch or fabric chairs, which have both happened, even though she's already potty-trained during the day and we've tried to get her to go to the potty a short time before). I don't scream at her but I think I come pretty close and I feel so guilty about it - she is only 2 and a half. I definitely show her I'm pissed at what she has done. I haven't hit her because I don't believe in it (during my saner moments) and I wouldn't subject her to what I've been through.

I don't want to teach her that yelling at someone is an acceptable response for anger and frustration, or any other negative emotions, but I'm afraid I'm already doing that. It's tough to keep calm when I'm on my own with both kids, especially when I'm already frazzled trying to deal with a fussy baby before Mikaela even makes a mess (or whatever).

I've recently started trying to work on talking in a calmer tone of voice whenever I'm mad. I may have inherited my dad's short temper, but I'll try not to give in to it. Hopefully the 'Proactive Approaches to Challenging Behaviour' workshop we've signed up to take will give me ideas on how to deal with her behaviour and we'll both be better for it. I really really want to learn to diffuse the situation without resorting to raised voices...

Small beginnings

I'm starting this blog because my husband, Michael, has been working 12-14 hour days so I've been on my own a lot with 2 young kids, and I've noticed that I've been getting downturns in my mood more frequently. I'm guessing that I'm getting a little stressed but I can't really talk to Michael because 1) he doesn't have time, and 2) I don't want to stress him out further when he's already got an overflowing plate at work. Plus I already tend to forget all the little things I wanted to tell him about what the girls did while he was at work, so maybe jotting them down when I have a moment (ha!) will at least remind me to tell him. I'm also hoping that if I can use this "blog therapy", I won't have to take yet more medications or find time to talk to a psychiatrist.

There's a possibility that I've got PPD (I did have a baby less than 5 months ago) but I don't think it's that serious. Just frustration with time and health issues, dealing with potty-training, messes, potty-training messes, decisions on what is the best thing to do for my children - you know, the usual mommy/parent stuff. I know I'm not bad off at all, there are many parents out there who have real issues, but I'm just not handling my own very well.

Anyway, there's tons more I want to blog about, but it's past 2am now, so I'm hopefully off to bed (trouble sleeping, too). Wish I had more zopiclone...